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28 May 2005 @ 11:44 am
Human Emotion [hellmouth_napa]  
--continued from here---

"I would call it just what you called it. Anticipation, because you are alive..."

I frowned, a little confused by his words. I needed more than just a simple answer to something that in my mind was more complex and perplexing than I had ever imagined it could be. I didn't know how to function properly in this world, I didn't know if the feelings that were oozing out of this shell at great speed were the correct feelings to have or if they were just a mutation of the shell and myself.

I needed to understand...

"This feeling of anticipation, my dear, is in direct relation to the fact that you must feel, that while people, humans can only have so many differences that define who they are, that there are subtle differences. Los Angelinos, in and of themselves are a breed apart. The people of Reno, Las Vegas or, I don't know, the ghost towns of Virginia City will all have their ways of life that define them. You will notice it immediately, but it is something that you should take with a smile, because differences define the Earth, make the human race special..."

Differences that define the earth and make the race human... what an interesting concept that was. It added to the multitude of concepts that I had acquired throughout my very long existence. Adding itself to the layer of memories that lay within core my mind. So vast and infinite as the many lives I lived at once, in the past... once upon a time. Literally, millions of years of memory, locked within my grasp. Endless; infinite, or the next best thing to it and I saw that those other lives, those other aspects of myself, had each possessed their own discrete awareness, while at the same time remaining a part of the whole. Some seemed to be inactive, but they were still there, all a part of me, connected to me.

We were getting closer to Reno now, the signs announcing the approximate distance left. It made me smile slightly, the notion that we would soon reach our desired destination. For I was eager to find out what this Reno would be like.

I examined his words again, verbalizing them in my head, picking it apart until I had diluted them into something more basic. Humans, as all beings, had differences, subtle differences that defined them, and shaped them into who they were supposed to be. His words made me analyze the shell even further. Despite it's pitiful frailty and diminutive size, this human body had still somehow managed to influence the process of my fusion with it. There were... flaws, aspects of the transformation that deviated from the template I had patterned into my viral form so many eons before. But these flaws had been more than just that, they had influenced my essence in such a way- it had allotted enough space for human memories and human emotions.

True, I had never imagined that my host body would be that of a human, or that my rebirth would be so long delayed. In point of fact, I was lucky that it had worked at all, with so many factors conspiring against me. I was greatly weakened, yes, unable to access much of what I had once been, being of this world or any other could have the capacity to house my essence whole... yet the world had changed greatly. The other great powers of the Primordial were gone entirely, having failed to manage even as much as I. They all lay in a death-like sleep in their tombs down the very center of this earth, in its core, in the Deeper Well. And I-, I was alive once more; possessing a fair degree of power, and inhabiting the form of the planet's current dominant species.

"Your race is special in deed," I said softly as I changed lanes. "Never once did I take a second look at you, as you sprang forth from the Primordial. You were the ooze, the bacteria at my feet... your race was pretty to look at in its most basic state, but as it was with many things, I grew weary of your species and moved on. Never did I once think that you would become what you are now... the dominant species of this planet. And I never imagined that I would be apart of it,"

I glanced at him once more before returning my gaze back to the road up ahead. "I suppose there will be many more things that will come to surprise me. But oddly enough, I feel that I would very much enjoy this... learning... experience."
Current Mood: contemplativecontemplative