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09 October 2005 @ 10:41 pm
The wolf, ram and hart seemed different on this day. There was something in this place, something that hadn't been here before, but it had some familiarity to it at the same time. As I walked the halls, much like a ghost, no one seemed to notice me anymore. There was talk, as always, of death, of secrets, of things that the humans here wanted to keep secret. So I walked... and I listened, and none even noticed I was there. Ever since my power had been depleted, everyone seemed to see me as their equal and the thought bothered me beyond belief. My name no longer carried the power it once had. No being trembled at my feet, nor cared much to see me as a friend or foe. My time as a god had truly come to an end...

It was not supposed to be this way. My arrival. I was supposed to rule the world; I was supposed to be obsolete. I was supposed to be the conqueror that everyone would kneel to... yet the world had also changed. It was not the foul thing it had once been. It was no longer the dirt at my feet; humans were no longer the muck that sprang from the depths of the earth. They had shape, they had form and they were the dominant species in this world. How that had come about, I couldn't begin to comprehend. They were still weak, and lacking in strength and stamina. But their minds... their minds had evolved. They had evolved from single celled organisms into these complex microbes that filled the earth that was once ruled by gods.

They were like roaches, multiplying to infinitum, destroying everything in their path for the sake of knowledge and pride.

And now, I was trapped, trapped in their world, trapped in a shell, trapped with feelings and memories that did not belong to me and yet remained craved into my being and attached so deep that at times I couldn't quite grasp who I really was anymore. I had become weak as they were. My powers greatly depleted, as well as the stability of the shell that housed my essence. The skin, it had softened considerably, it could be broken, it could... feel and as much as I abhorred the though, it also intrigued me.

There no where else for me to go. I was a prisoner here. If I escaped to other worlds, seeked out old alliances, they would see me- not as Illyria, the great, the powerful, the king of the primordial. No, they would see me as and insect, a lower being... and I would be destroyed once again, only this time there would be no return from the depths of slumber.

Spike had found my predicament amusing, and it irritated me, but- he had offered his guidance to me. He had offered to show me the things that I needed to know in order to assimilate better to this strange place. I found him irritating at times, however, he also intrigued me. Perhaps it had been because he had never feared me. Even when I could have turned him to dust with just one blow, he never feared. I found that... intriguing.

I had not been prepared for the array of emotions that followed out encounter in the training room. And I would have never believed that I would have found such pleasure in a being that was so beneath me still. These human emotions were quite disturbing but they needed to be addressed nonetheless.
Current Mood: curiouscurious
jenga_192jenga_192 on November 8th, 2006 05:04 am (UTC)
Big Fan
I love your entire livejournal... it made me so happy. Illyria is my favorite AtS character. Illyria and Fred.
Goddess Illyriathe_god_illyria on November 8th, 2006 05:45 am (UTC)
Re: Big Fan
:) thanks for the comment, i really appreciate it. i also play fred. you can read her journal at quietkindocrazy.
jenga_192jenga_192 on November 8th, 2006 11:55 pm (UTC)
Re: Big Fan
that's so great... i added fred too. thank you for the link.