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10 July 2005 @ 11:27 am
Awkward moments [no_going_home]  
I didn't bother to answer Wesley when he asked if I would be joining him with Angel. I simply shook my head lightly and watched him walk way and disappear through the door. I had said what I needed to say to Angel, and I assumed Faith had done the same. Angel was not the being he had once been, and it was rather disturbing to see him in such a strange state of self-doubt and self-pity. I also understood that Wesley and Angel needed the allotted time to discuss things on their own, and that my presence would have only made them both feel uncomfortable, for very different reason. So I stayed behind, and bid my time.

I looked to Spike with a frown, and wondered what he would say if he would awaken. It didn't seem like a likely possibility at this point. The power of Angel's blow had truly been strong enough to knock him unconscious for several hours. Still, it hadn't been fatal blow, and it did not damage any of the soft tissues. But the blow had given Spike what humans would call, a concussion. I had seen many, and since becoming human, Spike had suffered worse. All he needed for now was a long rest, and he would be, as humans like to so often say, 'As good as new,' with a rather titanic headache.

I leaned against the wall and looked towards the door again. Somewhere in the house I could hear Connor and Tara conversing, and I could also, almost, hear Wesley's voice. I wanted to intrude, but I didn't, it was not my place. They were both from very different world, one by choice and the other by chance, and I understood that sometimes these things took some adjusting to.

Shifting positions, I decided to walk over to Spike and sit opposite of him. The spot where Angel had so deliberately punched him had already left a mark. It had become a bruise and the skin was slightly raised. I found it odd that I didn't feel at all upset at what had happened to him. For a long time this had been my guide. For a long time he had been the one to show me the world and help in my transition from ex-god to law abiding citizen... for the most part. I suppose, I simply understood Angel's reaction and felt good that he felt something other than the pathetic self pity he had for himself.

I leaned back, enjoying the comfort of the couch, thinking about all that had happened. Remembering Connor's grief stricken face at his wife's funeral, remembering Wesley's face on the moment he died in my arms, remembering Angel's face when I first found him in that alley... remembering the face of Spike as he realized he had shanshu'ed.

The world was a rather strange place, even after ten years. It was more intricate than it had ever been, even when my kind reigned. Perhaps this was the reason why the human race endured. Such a mystery, one I didn't care so much to solve. For once in my life, I accepted things, or rather, humanity for what it was. It hadn't seemed so easy before, but now... now it was simply all I had.

The voices of Angel and Wesley began to resonate much clearly now, and I sat up... alert. There were other voices too, but I couldn't quite place them.

"Or maybe Illyria is wandering around somewhere?"

At the sound of my own name being spoken I got up from my chair and walked towards the door.

"Okay. Sounds like Faith has some company outside,"

I frowned and tried to look out the window but I couldn't see anything. As I walked into the other room, I saw Angel, and then Wesley walk in. I didn't exactly know what to say, so I simply stood there. Watching them both, a little, unsure of my place. I walked a little closer to them, still keeping a certain distance between us.

"Angel, Wesley..." I said as they saw me come into view. What else was there to say?
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